Reflections on My Relationship with My Phone + 3 Tips to Reduce Scrolling
Lately I’ve been thinking about how much time we spend scrolling on our screens. Sure, sometimes I learn fascinating facts, are entertained, or feel inspired by what I find scrolling, but mostly, mindlessly scrolling feels like a waste of time compared to what I could be doing with that time.
I’m not talking about phone calls spent connecting with others or looking up a how-to video to fix a leaky faucet. I’m thinking about those times you look up something on your phone and then the next thing you know it’s 30 or 60 mins later. Compared to others my age, I probably spend less time on my phone than average. However, it’s still not an insignificant amount of time. I find myself reflecting over the amount of cumulative time I spend on my phone and what I could do instead with that time that would feel exponentially more creative, productive, and/or relaxing than anything I would find scrolling. I never get off my phone and think “wow I’m so glad I did that”. Not to mention, the amount of ads that bombard us on our screens. These days, most of my feed is ads with a sprinkle of people I actually want to see. From conversations I’ve had I don’t think I’m the only one that’s noticed this change in social media.
I don’t know about you, but I want to feel like I really, truly experience life with all my senses, not life behind a screen. I want a long attention span that allows me to focus so that I can accomplish my goals. I want to create my own memories, not watch someone else’s. And I want to do them for their own sake, not to post about them later. What will I remember in 30 years? The afternoon spent scrolling on my phone or the afternoon I explored a new park? The time I checked social media after work or the time I painted a picture that now hangs in my bedroom? The time I went down an internet rabbit hole, or the time I created a garden? You get the idea. When I spend extended periods offline such as when I’m camping, backpacking, etc. I really don’t miss it. And even better, I’m more likely to spend that time with people I love and care about.
I might regret an afternoon on my phone but I never regret an afternoon getting my hands dirty in the garden.
The average American spends about 4 hours and 25 mins on their phone each day. That’s almost 30 hours per week or 127.5 hours per month! It is both mind boggling and sad that we are allocating so much of our precious time to a computer. Even if you “only” spend 30 mins a day on your phone, that’s 2.5 hours per week or 15 hours per month. Not an insignificant amount of time. And definitely enough time to connect with friends or learn a new hobby.
Yet, in the context of the “attention economy” this amount of time and the ads we see make more sense. The companies behind scroll-inducing apps have nothing if they don’t have our attention and they are selling our attention to advertisers. WE are not the customer. Their customers are businesses who want to advertise to us. And our attention is the commodity. Therefore, these apps make more money the more time we spend on them because they have more ad space to sell. Not only does engaging in non-screen activities make me feel more alive, it also feels like a small act of resistance against the capitalistic attention economy.
With this in mind I decided to make some changes to deprioritize time on my phone. I’m not saying I’ll never scroll again or never watch another youtube video again. I don’t mean to come across as a luddite because technology certainly can be helpful. And this is not a knock to those who put their time and energy into creating content. But I want to be intentional with how I interact with screens. I want to engage with content that inspires me or that I learn from instead of mindless online chatter. I want it to add value to my life not detract value. I want the content to lead to action in my own life, not something I consume and move on from a minute later.
Because it’s SO easy to get sucked into our phones I wanted to make some changes that create just a bit more friction to reach the places on my phone that tempt me to mindlessly scroll. The internet likes to be extreme but what I’m suggesting below is not extreme. It doesn’t involve throwing your smartphone off a cliff or never using the internet. But they are realistic and relatively simple behaviors to help create a more intentional and less attached relationship to your phone.
Rearrange and Declutter Your Phone Apps
Declutter your unused apps. You know those apps you downloaded years ago, thought you’d use, but now they just sit there taking up space on your phone? Delete them.
Rearrange your apps so that the ones you use frequently and have utility but don’t encourage scrolling on the first page or two. For example, I have my text messaging, phone calls, spotify, camera/photos, calendar, notes, weather, calculator, reminders, maps, etc. on these pages.
After your frequently used apps, insert a blank page.
Put apps that you rarely use or that tempt you to scroll, past that blank page.
Personally, I put the worst offenders into a folder and labeled it “unnecessary”
So now if I want to get to instagram for example, I have to scroll through 3 pages, including a blank page which is my reminder to myself, are you sure you want to keep scrolling? Then I have to tap a folder called “unnecessary”, another reminder to myself that asks is this really how you want to spend your time?
Additionally, I would rather prioritize longer form content than quick attention grabbing headlines filled with ads because I want to increase my attention span, I enjoy going more in depth, and I want to support the people who put in the effort to create longer, deeper content. So to do that, I kept apps such as youtube and substack more convenient to get to than instagram, but none of them are on my home page.
Consider what you would rather prioritize time on when you’re on your phone and make that more accessible than the apps that encourage mindless scrolling.
Turn Off Notifications
Besides text messages, phone calls, and a couple other communication apps, I have notifications blocked for all other apps. I get no notifications for emails or social media. While I’ve done this for years, I recently went through my apps and made sure all other random apps I use sporadically were turned off as well.
Less notifications means less reminders that your phone exists. It means you’re less likely to open your phone as often and be tempted to stay on your phone. And it makes it less overwhelming to respond to meaningful notifications that actually matter.
Put Your Phone In Another Room
This is not a new habit for me but more of a reminder to myself. Anyone who knows me well knows I have a tendency to put my phone down in one room of my house, walk to another room, get busy doing something, and forget to check my phone for hours. As I write this blog post, my phone is upstairs while I am downstairs.
Depending on how attached to your phone you are, you may have to work up to this. But, consider detaching your phone from your person.
Instead of keeping your phone in your pocket, consider placing it face down in another part of the room that you’re in. You can keep your phone ringer on (something I often forget to do oops!) in case someone needs to get a hold of you.
Ideally, keep your phone physically away from you, creating more of a barrier to checking it mindlessly.
BONUS TIP: Think About Adding Versus Taking Away
With any habit change, it’s often easier to sustain the habit if you think about the value of what you’re adding to your life instead of focusing on what you’re giving up.
In the case of technology, focus on the activities you’re excited to have time to do instead of what you might “miss out” on online. For example, think about how you can’t wait to read the next chapter of your book or go to an art class or learn guitar instead of being afraid you might miss the latest internet trend.
When I reflect on my relationship with my phone, I am reminded of a quote from a poem by Mary Oliver that says, “I do not want to end up simply having visited this world”. Mindless screen use makes me feel like I’m going through the motions of living. I want to feel truly engaged in the world around me. I want my phone, the internet, and other technology to be tools that teach me the skills to accomplish what I want to do in “real life” and a source of inspiration for creativity. I do not want them to BE my life. So with that, I think it’s time for me to get off my computer screen and go for a walk in the sun!
